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Sean Hetherington Master Wordsmith
3/22/04
Mmm...hmm...
Fuck the indys.
I'm SFCC, bitches.
Kurtis Matthews
trained my ass in the art of stand-up comedy in a SARS infected classroom in the
middle of no where Sacramento. He drove up here every Monday for six months to
make sure I learned how to be myself on stage and find my voice. He's one
unselfish ho. His training works. He invited me into the performance troupe
where I work almost exclusively and where I do 150 shows a year. It's San
Francisco's Second City.
My friends are SFCC, too. And they're funny. Reggie, Eli,
Bob, Beth, Sharman, Stimbra, Selvi, Jose, Mari, Brian, Sammy, Slack, all of 'em.
They all took me in under their wings and told me when I sucked and blew me when
I rocked. Those are friends. They drive all over the place for no money just to
live the dream. Bob came up with the phrase, "Thanks for showing up for your
lives." Do you bitches show up every Wednesday at the F'ing Seabiscuit to open
for the freakshow? I didn't think so. Did you watch A Cuppa Tea rise and fall
because of a pack of 14 year old homeless kids? Were you in Milpitas laying
across a pool table with a cordless mike? Did you rock Dimple Records until the
Earth shook? Suck my balls.
So when I hear people talking shit about my peeps it makes
me want to start an east coast/west coast war and bus' a cap. You funny? Go be
funny. Real comedians don't have to talk shit and tell dick jokes about monkeys
farting on their....you know, dicks. But if that's all you got I'll see you in
ten years in the audience of our HBO specials, fuckers. In the meantime, keep
standing outside of Cobbs on Saturday afternoons looking for parking in North
Beach. I'll be inside on stage with a Pabst Blue Ribbon, because I'm a classy
beee-otch, beee-oottch!.
The SFCC is the 90210 of San Francisco. We run in a pack
and look pretty. We're like Mormons. Everyone hates us and we have no idea.
Especially Dr. Dan.
Mmm..hmm.
"
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1972-2005 |
ChristopherTitus
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